i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
