Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
