She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
