Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
