So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
