Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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