is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
