the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
