can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
