I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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