Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
