Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
