you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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