i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
