i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
