I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
