Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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