You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
