Define "chronic" masturbator.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think my moral compass just broke
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
