Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
