hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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