I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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