Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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