Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
