I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
