My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
