You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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