Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
