Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
