New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
