you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
