ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
