Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
