Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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