We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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