No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
