the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
