we have pet lesbian snakes
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
A bitchslap is in order.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
