We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
