She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
