the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
