So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
