Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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