I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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