just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
