This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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