At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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