I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
