Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
