this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
