Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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