We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
